A druid's journey

Middle Piller - The Self Hug

2007-03-08T02:39:08Z

The light spilt weightless from a milk jug into my brain and then became hands, holding my brain, bringing weightlessness to my being. Oh god, I just need a hug! I need to be held! More hugs I say! Anyway, the hands continued through my throat (becoming like the hands in labyrinth) and then the light arrived at my chest. My arms and body 'switched on' as though a light switch had been flicked and they too became shimmering weightless parts of myself. When the light moved to my womb it became an interior designed room! Complete with gleeming white chaisse lounge and fancy light fittings. How hilarious. The light moved down either leg on a gorgeous stepped pathway (also gleaming) and then at my knees it became a rope bridge over massive rainforest. It was raining and the bridge was rickety but I wasn't scared. The light kept moving and finally met at my feet where a strange little wooden gargoyle-type thing was sitting there in front of a cave/entrance. It had huge eyes and was hugging itself at the knees. Hugging again! Hugging oneself. I definately feel as though this middle piller was about the self-hug.

Druidcraft Tarot

2007-03-07T16:35:59Z

Tarot Reading

Five card spread: air, fire, water, earth & spirit. I did this spread and linked it into my sphere of protection ritual that I performed earlier today.

Air: Princess of pentacles again! She certainly has been a feature. Now she is representing the intellectual realm. She is manifesting my essays and brings ideas out of my mind and onto 'paper'. The rock behind her is again making me wonder. It represents the hidden knowledge that I will unlock upon my journey. What a fortunate life I lead.

Fire: Ace of wands, a buck stands proud on the edge of a cliff. Fire in fire. Initiation and beginnings. I have a good view from here of my intuitions and will. I can see the land before me and I am powerful within it. Some of my choices are ambitious, but those are the ones that will open up new lands if I only raise the courage.

Water: Four of wands, A domestic scene with hut and fire surrounded by four stones. Four wands create a canopy over the fire place. I need to learn to forgive and be open to change within a domestic setting. Living with someone else is hard! But, not nearly as hard as living alone. I need to be less pushy, more genuinely open. I see the four wands made of wood and I worry that if my will is too great, the fire will burn it all up!

Earth: The moon. A powerful card to represent the land. I have been concentrating on sacred places and spiral 7 (earth mysteries). This card is all about trancending the everyday through the earth and places of power.

Spirit: A man looks out at his two children. Its funny because I have thought since I bought the deck that this card had a woman looking outside. As a woman she looks worried, anxious, almost jealous of the children's freedom and lack of cares outside. As soon as I noticed the man's nipple tonight and realized that she was a he, suddenly I interpreted the card very differently. Now it became a card of pride and joy in what the man had created. What an interesting view of gender I have. No wonder I find myself longing to be a man and to be free of feminine expectation. Confused little hermaphrodite me. Anyway, the card is about feeling a sense of accomplishment with the AODA, getting to the 2nd degree. I feel very strong in my spirituality and this path.

N.B. One of the more amusing moments tonight is that I realized that I had set up our sacred space slightly wrong when placing elemental candles recently (we've just moved, hence the shuffle). I noticed that I had accidently put water in the north and fire in the west. What is hilarious about this is that when we first got here (before knowing officially where the directions were) Morgs and I put our incense, lighters and candles on the games cupboard. Tonight I realized that this spot is in the north! I was feeling funny about having the water candle amongst all those fire things! Of course, now that everything is in the right place it feels perfect, e.g. the blue candle is right near our kitchen sink, exactly the place for water! *happy sigh*

Equinox

2007-03-07T15:23:19Z

Autumnal Equinox March 21 10.07

Middle Pillar

2007-03-07T13:18:47Z

Today I lay back in supta baddha konasana and did a middle pillar.

The light from above rushed down into my head like a waterfall[1]. The light frothed as though it was filled with baking soda (non-toxic, but abrasive), as it gurgled down my throat, cleansing me alchemaically. At the top of my chest the light became part of a vast lake stretching out across my body. A full moon hung silently and reflected the otherworldly glow of the lake. At the other side of the lake was black braken[2], the light had to move carefully to navigate through towards my reproductive organs. However, once there a sacred stone circle was revealed. It was a joyous feeling of being home. The light moved onwards down my legs and met my feet at the bottom of my body. The two beams of light fused and electrified my entire body.

[1] Tonight (many hours after the middle pillar) I was reading about the sacred Himalayas. The origin of the Ganges are described as a waterfall described as falling from Heaven.

One of the most famous and important myths, which links mountains and rivers for the Hindus, is the descent of the Ganges from the heavens.

[2] Reminds me of the path of the leader as written in the ADOA candidate ritual.

Tarot

2007-02-27T13:58:07Z

Past: Princess of pentacles = questioning her coin, last week I thought the coin represented material weath (i.e. $$), but I think it actually meant publishing my podcast on itunes. Manifesting on the material plane has become more fluid with the advent of the internet. But, my work is manifesting as vibrations across the planet and so it definately works as on the physical level.

Present: Eight of swords = a woman bound, surrounded by eight swords in the ground. The intellect terrified within hod. This could not be more accurate. I have an article due in 48hrs and I'm quiet terrified. Yet, when I look at this card from the outside, I can see that she could use the blade of one of the swords to help untie herself in order to step sideways away from the danger. Tomorrow I need to start work on untying myself first by chosing a single issue to work on with my article and getting that done. The light will increase almost entirely just by releasing myself from the blindfold.

Future: The Hermit = Next week Morgs will be away in the USA for a conference and I will be alone for a week without him. It will be a good time for some introspection and ritual work I think.

Cloud Divination

2007-02-21T23:36:02Z

I have developed my own form of cloud divination based on a combination of the classification system invented by Luke Howard, local weather and skrying the clouds and I am still experimenting with it every day I see the clouds. Isn’t it interesting how people first communicate with each other by discussing the weather? I use these conversations to gauge the mental state of the people around me and predict the day’s events. The weather has a profound effect on psychology regardless of whether people realize it. By paying more attention to how individuals react to various conditions I can predict their moods and reactions to events and circumstances.

Here is some of the other things I have learnt:
- The speed of the wind dramatically influences the nature of the divination and should adjust one’s thinking accordingly. High wind indicate greater gwyar. Low wind or stillness is greater calas.
- The time of day is influential. Cloud energies at dusk and dawn carry different significances than those during the day.
- The phase of the moon also affects divination and can be combined with the cloud cover of the evening.
- I currently have nine basic categories of clouds:

1/ Fair weather cumulus (=heap). These are the fluffy clouds children see dinosaurs and people in. Great for day-dreaming, discursive meditation, thinking of possibilities, lateral thought. Allow yourself to think of big goals without setting limitations. Divination, creativity, story-telling. These clouds have wonderful dimensionality and should encourage someone who witnesses them to enjoy their day with some extra symbology and significance. What do you see in your clouds today? Druidcraft tarot images: princess of wands justice, four of wands, the high priest, king of wands, five of cups, queen of swords, three wands, princess of wands, six of cups, the fool, ten of pentacles, the hanged man, the lady, two of wands, queen of wands

2/ Cumulonimbus. These are dark, stormy cumulus. They are very exciting, full of gwyar. They are full of energy and possibility. Good clouds to make a decision on something you’ve been ruminating on. Druidcraft tarot images: none of the deck feature these cards.

3/ Stratus (=stretched out). These clouds show patterns over a big area. How does your life have patterns and repeating tendencies? Are these habits good or bad or both? Should you develop more habits that are good for you (e.g. exercising regularly) and breaking bad habits (e.g. stopping smoking). What are the laws of nature? Druidcraft tarot images: king of swords, prince of swords, king of pentacles, ten of swords, princess of swords, the wheel, king of cups

4/ Stratocumulus. Thick clouds that cover the sky. Good for skrying, reflection, introspection. They can represent stillness, calas. Often found in winter. Druidcraft tarot images: strength, seven of wands, the fferyllt, the lovers, the lord, the five of wands, ace of wands, the sun, two of cups, the chariot, three of pentacles, nine of wands.

5/ Low-lying stratus (=fog). Fog is perfect for the otherworld. Think of Midsummer Night’s Dream and the use of fog machines to resemble the dreamy land of the fairies and otherkin. Materialize your dreams, but be careful what you wish for. Druidcraft tarot images: nine of pentacles, six of pentacles, seven of cups, seven of pentacles, five of pentacles, eight of swords, nine of pentacles

6/ Nimbostratus. These are stratus clouds which precipitate (e.g rain, snow). They indicate fertility, renewal, reactivation. Think of the energy of a snow day in the middle of winter. Or a rainstorm breaking in drought-stricken land. Druidcraft tarot images: none appear in the deck.

7/ Cirrus. (=curl). These are ice clouds high up in the atmosphere, away from the weather we experience on earth. These clouds are excellent for getting a different perspective, trying something that you don’t think is ‘you’. They also represent future outcomes, a big journey. Druidcraft tarot images: queen of cups, seven of swords, the moon, the hermit, two of pentacles, the magician, the high priestess, six of wands, five of swords, six of swords, ace of cups, the tower, eight of cups

8/ Blue skies. No clouds means strong nwyfre energies. Possibilities, freedom, existence, philosophy, spiritual growth. This is why desert climates can be so useful in spirit quests and inner work. It is also why the tops of mountains (or airplane trips) can be charged with spiritual energies. At night, clear skies allow divination via the stars. Druidcraft tarot images: the star, the world, four of cups, ten of cups, eight of wands, princess of cups, prince of pentacles, princess of pentacles, queen of pentacles.

9/’God’ Clouds. These are those amazing cumulus clouds where the suns rays seem to shine down from heaven. When they appear at sunset or sunrise they can take your breath away. These are very fortunate clouds and usually contain an important message. Druidcraft tarot images: none of the cards show this cloud type.

Sometimes the sky has a variety of the above clouds or combination-cloud types. If it does so, then take your inspiration from combining elements of the above into insightful readings. E.g. cirrocumulus clouds are a great opportunity meditate about your own personal journey from a different perspective. A combination of cumulonimbus clouds and blue skies might signify a big change in spiritual direction. Druidcraft tarot images with combination clouds: ace of pentacles, four of swords, death, three of swords, prince of cups, ten of wands, ace of swords.

N.B. Druidcraft tarot cards with no sky are: eight of pentacles, cernunnos, two of swords, nine of cups, four of pentacles, three of cups, rebirth, nine of swords,

Tarot

2007-02-20T13:14:57Z

Druidcraft Tarot

Past: The Fferyllt - a woman alchemist is changing physical substances but they glow etherically. In the distance is a mountainous island on a lake or sea with a rainbow over it (glastonbury tor). A stone is placed on top of the tor. This woman is powerful and capable of significant change. I am passing through a period of great change (i.e. moving countries, shifting jobs, getting married). Massive transformation is passing.

Present: Two of coins - a woman juggles two coins. She is focussed. She stands protected on land whilst a storm rages in the distance and ship is in danger. I am currently focussing on balancing my physical existence, getting my own self in balance and keeping clear of other people's storms as much as possible. If I am not balanced, how can I rescue or help others?

Future: Princess of coins - a girl about twelve years old examines a huge coin. Behind her is a cave with a sigil-covered rock. She is thinking of all the possibilities of this coin, how she can use it, how it can help her. Today I signed a letter post-dated into the future. The letter thanks the universe for getting me $25,000 via Planet Radio's fund-raising exercise in April. I do feel like a child at the prospect of such an enormous sum. But, only if I dream it, can it be so.

Cernunnos

2007-02-19T21:11:18Z

It is interesting how daily LBRP's and rigorous exercise affects meditation. A few nights ago Sirona (air quadrant) showered me with ethereal mirror shards. I didn't understand them then. Then, last night Cernunnos (earth quadrant) had his usual dark appearance, but was embedded with jewels and precious minerals. He had ruby talons on his fingers and toes. He had Opals for eyes. Flashes of glinting metals and precious stones throughout his muscular body of hair and dirt. There was an alloy of titanium in his bones, giving him Wolverine-type strength. He creates an adrenalin rush like driving a racing car, but trustworthy, a protector, but someone to take you to the edge of your physicality. Desire, lust, addictive.

Tree-planting

2007-02-18T03:13:08Z

In May 2005, Morgs and I planted a Red Oak in NJ for our handfasting. We also helped other members of Red Oak Grove planting a real grove of trees at our camping ground.

In August 2006, when Morgs and I got legally married, we planted many trees and shrubs with our family and friends as part of an Arbour Day effort to reforest devastated parts of the Australian landscape. At christmas we went back to the area and removed weeds from our growing trees and stroked the leaves of the tenacious plants. Tree-planting is a tradition that we should continue on our wedding anniversary every year.

NLP workbook Ch.2 Action Plan

2007-02-18T03:08:45Z

NLP Workbook

1) Ten Outcomes I want to achieve in the next week (i.e. by Sunday night 25-Feb-07):

1/ Complete lessons 5 & 6 in "Yoga: The Iyengar Way" book twice (i.e. four hours of yoga pracise)
~~2/ Either Walk 1 hr or swim 1km three times.~~
~~3/ LBRP every night~~
4/ Sent a draft of my encyclopedia article on imagination to reviewers.
5/ Make revisions to my imagination article based any feedback already received.
~~6/ Finish 30 news stories for Planet Radio 88FM~~
~~7/ Buy as many bookshelves as we can afford.~~
~~8/ Eat at least one piece of fruit every day.~~
~~9/ Be 152lbs~~
~~10/ Take moving boxes to the recycling.~~

2) Write down outcomes every six months for the following categories. By 18-Aug-07:

Professional Life
1/ I will have finished my all my coursework (i.e. 'incompletes') for my PhD.
2/ I will have given a paper at both the AAP and Australian Cognitive Science Conference.

Personal health
1/ My lower back and both my knees will be working well without pain.
2/ I will be fit and < 146lbs.
3/ I will be eating mostly fruit, nuts and 70% vegetarian food.

Relationships
1/ I will take Morgs on a date/adventure once a week and listen to him and concentrate on how he is feeling.
2/ I will reply to emails from loved ones within three days.

Money
1/ We will put $2,400 towards our credit card debt.
2/ We will save $1,200 towards a deposit on a house.

Self-development
1/ I will have a guest on my radio show each week.
2/ I will be able to stay in shoulder balance for at least 5 minutes at a time.

Spiritual
1/ I will have celebrated equinox, beltane, solstice, and lughnasadh.
2/ I will be able to meditate for > 15mins

3) Huge, unbelievably great goals (HUGGs)

1/ Publish a book.
2/ Have kids.
3/ Using 100% recycled power.

Return

2007-02-16T15:33:13Z

Back into daily LBRPs and yoga lessons four times a week. After a year of change and five moves and three countries, life is starting to return to some normalcy.

Tonight I lit four candles around my yoga space. I did an intensive, rigorous lesson and then finished with my LBRP. Each day my experience becomes more vivid, more concrete and tonight was no exception. I am still getting far too distracted during ritual, but the energies are developing.

My 'angels' are:

North, air = Sirona (gaul wind goddess, goddess of the stars)
South, water = Bridget (Irish, UK goddess of healing, fertility and imbolc)
East, fire = Math (welsh god of magic)
West, earth = Cernunnos

When I call Sirona she appears as a translucent, undulating star goddess. Her form is fluid like a magnificent sky cephalapod. If you've seen director's cut of The Abyss, it will make some sense. She is utterly feminine, gorgeous, but powerful, silent, thoughtful, emmense, she is like shelter, like Nut, hanging in the sky. But, she is dynamic, reacting to energy and situation. Tonight she released thousands of little diamond-shaped mirrors down from the cosmos. They fell like snow flakes and filled the surroundings with disco-ball filaments of light. I was awe-struck, yet didn't spend as much time engaging with them as I should have done. It was disrespectful of me and I think I missed out on something deeper, more significant because of this. However, the thought of mirrors, reflecting me and reflecting light has got me thinking.

When I call on Bridget, she has recently taken the form of a little red-haired, freckled, girl. Her eyes twinkling mischeviously and a vessel of water in her hands and a river at her feet like the tarot card princess of cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. My Bridget also has a waterfall behind her. Tonight she was older with a hood on, an adolescent moving towards being the Queen. She looked a bit like the redhead in the two of cups, energized, full of life and cheek.

When I call on Math, he has recently worn a luxuriant red cloak and dark hair and a beard. He faces towards me, sometimes with a staff and is earnest, upstanding, perhaps a bit aloof. Tonight he sat down on a log by a fire and I was compelled to sit down next to him, drink some mead and have a chat. Yet again, I didn't take the time to do that, instead I moved on, leaving him by the fire. I'm so silly! I guess I was a bit intimidated. He'll forgive me for that.

When I call on Cernunnos, he appears out of the forest just like the Cernunnos card in the Druidcraft Tarot. Before I had got this deck, he had appeared just the same. I really do think it is a great impression painted by someone familiar with his hungary sexuality, dirt, smell and strength.

Calan Gaeaf

2006-10-29T11:34:23Z

Tonight I went to a druid celebration of Calan Gaeaf (Welsh version of samhain) with Red Oak Grove. The weather was windy, cold and gloomy, yet the twilight clouds revealed burning oranges and reds in the sky. I call these sorts of clouds 'god clouds' because through the ominous darkness come fingers of sublime light down to earth. At the start of our journey I put Underworld on and we drove to the ceremony location.

When sad_fountain and I arrived, I immediately wanted to stay outside for longer. I invited others to join me in some twilight meditation. We walked to a hidden grove and stood with our feet planted in the earth. I performed a yogic breathing meditation with an arboureal twist and then we went back inside.

I helped to make some Halloween bingo boards and then won the bingo game! Then the ogham bobbing for apples began. Because I won bingo, I got the first apple and it was 'heather' for love and fertility. I feel fertile right now with my new life ahead. Then I used acrylic paints and a paintbrush to draw a combination of Horus and Death* make-up around my eyes just for fun. Other children present had the cutest face-paint. I wore my long-sleeved black top with the faded, shadowy skyline of Manhattan with the twin towers and a broken reflection of the American flag. I also had my green-man cernunnos bag with me and my muller-lyer illusion jeans on. It wasn't ceremonial garb, but felt seasonal nevertheless.

I found a sickle whilst waiting for the main ritual to begin. I found the erotic sensation of the blade encircling my neck too interesting to leave alone. I used the blade against many people's necks and they all got a scary thrill.

The ritual began we had quite a powerful opening of the gates and connection with the otherworld. We spoke of those who have lost their lives in the past year. There were many amazing stories, including a galapagus tortoise from Darwin's original journey who died recently. I sung a bit of 'I Still Call Australia Home' for Steve Irwin and cried a lot of my make-up off.

The central channelling of Rhiannon and Math (welsh god of magic) was very intense. Rhiannon laughed at us for having images of skulls and things. She said that death was nothing like our cute decorations. Both energies were very strong during the night.

* i.e. from Sandman.

cyfarwydd @ 2005-05-29T13:17:00

2005-05-29T17:17:13Z

MIDDLE PILLER

The light was an elevator shaft transporting a regal king in a gleaming throne towards my head. He alighted from his seat in my skull and majestically moved about my mind. There were switches and computer consoles embedded in my skull, like aeroplane controls in the cockpit. He pushed various buttons and moved things around before decending down the grand stairway of my throat. His cloak spread light behind him as he moved. The king stepped silently across the missing stair at daath and proceeded across a beautiful white bridge of arches that crossed the abyss, like an elven aquaduct. On the bridge were many owls, all upon their own pedestal. The king nodded and occasionally patted them as he passed. Across the chasm was a huge citadel upon a mountain. The king marched through the city with serene love and joy. He came to the centre of the city where a great holy temple sat. He ventured into the temple and inside was nothing but an ancient well. The king knelt before it and offered himself utterly to her powers. His gratitude was emmense and the entire city seemed to purge itself of worry and harm because of his humility. After meditating and praying for a good time, the king left the temple and continued through the citidel. He reached the city gates and passed into mountainous terrain. This was the mountain path, like the silk road from India through the middle east. There were yaks and people of the hills as he walked through. The king used his septre to negotiate the journey. After a time he came across a monestary. The monks welcomed him and knew of his divine energies. They offered him a quiet place to rest and rice to sooth his hunger. The king remained there in peace for a long time. Then the energies were circulated and the heart enclosed in protection.

cyfarwydd @ 2005-05-28T14:08:00

2005-05-28T18:08:14Z

MIDDLE PILLER

The stars released white threads of light like spider's silk. Sirona became a white, dancing female-formed flame and gathered the many strands into one rope of light, like bundling the strings of a parachute together. Then Sirona abseiled down the inky blackness of the sky and landed Mission Impossible style within my skull. She was graceful and wondrouslyl energetic, like a Disney flaming tinkerbell of light from Fantasia. Once my head was illuminated, she opened the door to my throat and abseiled down. Along the way were symbols on the walls. Geometric designs of triangles, almost like line-drawn houses and dots, like domino dots beside them. Sirona pushed on to daath, where the walls all disappeared and infinity took all form away. This did not disturb her in the slightest and she focussed on the great abyss before her. She began throwing out light like frisbees over to tiphareth, moving from left to right along the edge of the chasm. Each light ray solidified upon landing. Soon she had created a fiercly bright white hard surface, like an ice-skating rink. Indeed, she pushed herself out on the rink and I was her and she was me. We skated around the rink, doing all kinds of acrobatic manouvers that would normally cause physical me huge amounts of pain in my knees. Yet, for a moment I was free of pain. I was the light moving effortlessly across the abyss. I could see across to the other side, into my chest. There was a village there, with a bunch of people watching Sirona, as though they were watching a soccer game. She skated over to the edge and into tiphareth. There she rode a horse about the town, delighting the children and surveying the land. After a while, she got off the horse and proceeded to dance towards the edge of town. At the edge was a little hut, like a shaman's hut. She went inside to find a wise old herb woman beside a cauldron. In fact it was one of the Enochian guardians of the first aethyr who I met during Lon Milo Duquette's session. But, it was also Cerridwen, mysterious force of life and death. Sirona entered the cauldron of liquid and it was warm and womb-like. Baths are good for nurturing the cycles of life. At the bottom of the cauldron Sirona found a portal to another dimension, a worm hold opened up and strands of time and space stretched out like the temporal highways in Bill & Ted's. These ran down my legs and Sirona zoomed down them until she arrived at a strange planet. The planet was huge, bigger than the imagination and populated by giants. These giants were peacefully making something using massive blocks of metal. It was pretty warm, but not unpleasant. The giants paid no attention to the arrival of a little fairy of light amongst them. It was hard to reconcile this massive transdimensional existence with the materialism of my feet. But, nonetheless, Sirona gathered the cords of light together and created a center of energy at malkuth. She helped me circulate the light around my body and I felt it enormously. It felt like magnets re-polarizing all my cells. Like a restart or something.

TAROT READING
The Druid Craft Tarot

Question: What should I do to help my knees?

Fire: Seven Swords - The dilemma of inspiration versus getting it clearly explained. My mind went towards the sky and the moon through the window and left the complexities behind. I take this to mean I will do to continue meditating to balance the analytic work that I am doing. It is crucial to have this balance.

Air: Hermit (reversed) - Again, the cresent moon in the background signals an intuitive shift from intellect and time for contemplation. Aristotle thought that contemplation was crucial for a virtuous life. The hermit is outside, in nature. I must meditate within the forests, by the water and seeking inspiration from the sky. Doing yoga outside is one suggestion.

Water: Queen of Swords - This suggests either my mum or Leo to help temper my emotions. They are the right people right now. Clear-headed, yet loving and in my best interests.

Earth: Two Swords (reversed) - Time to face conflict. There are two paths that I know and am afraid of. There is a third path by climbing the tree and seeing into the distance. This encourages me to be brave and try new remedies for my knees. I must make an appointment with the sports doctor (or get a referral) and probably buy some cosamin as soon as I can afford it.

Spirit: Three Wands - Showing beginnings of success. I guess this card should give me faith to continue trying to solve this problem and not give up. With perserverence I can triumph.

CONCLUSION: Use the warmth of the summer to be outside with fresh air, meditation and yoga. Keep to myself, don't get too involved in other people's dramas. Take regular baths and keep going, do not despair. Call my mum and Leo when things get rough.

Spring in Montreal's Botanical Gardens

2005-05-24T18:54:02Z

Looking at the trees behind the ogham and I've noticed a fascinating thing. It is generally known that birch (beth) is the first tree to show new growth in spring, hence (some of) its connotations with birth and beginnings and indeed the beginning of the ogham alphabet.

Birch Tree

Inside a Birch Tree

However, I noticed today that hawthorn also blossoms beautifully in spring and begins the second group of five (huath) in ogham. Not only this, but vine (muin) begins the third group and is reknowned for its use during beltane for crown-making and finally the fir trees (ailm) are of course evergreens, but they are particularly noticeable at the beginning of spring when no other tree has leaves and the druids first begin to spend more time in the outdoors.

Hawthorn Trees

Blackthorn

I finally found a blackthorn tree! I was hoping to find one today. It was positioned in the toxic plants section and I read that ingesting the berries causes purging of the body's systems. Very interesting.

Inside the blackthorn, notice the steel cables controlling it.

The Blackthorn 180 degrees. What was great about this specimen was how it was being pulled together using metal. the branches were quite crazy and terrifying. I am definately attracted to something about this ogham.

cyfarwydd @ 2005-03-09T16:46:00

2005-03-09T21:29:35Z

Middle Pillar

Sirona winked at me and her light shone down laser-like from her eye into my third eye. The light fell down like a waterfall into my skull and began to fill up my head like a bathtub of energy. The energy dripped down into my throat and illuminated my neck in fairly viscous luminescence. In order to cross the Abyss the light formed criss-crossed mesh-work, like ants building a bridge across water. This net of light was like a cricus safety trampoline (again!) When the light arrived in my chest, it was the banquet hall of my youth. When I was a child I remember thinking that my food when into a great cauldren in my stomach where lots of little people ate my dinner. Well, the light arrived in this pub/banquet hall and filled everyone up with joy. The light became gaseous and drifted up the chimney. The chimney became a periscope and the light came out across the waters of yesod, the primal feminine. The light then solidified like ice paths across the waves, only warm. These paths divided down each leg and met again like parallel lines at infinity at my feet. There was a small island of matter with a huge quartz crystal on it that the light settled within. I passed this light around my body. When it travelled down my back, it was a great undercurrent in the sea, as it washed over my body, it was in waves, like a stormy ocean. When the light came up through the middle and exploding out of my head, it was like a blow-hole amongst cliffs. I finished with strong circling serpentine energies around my body.

I've got a mentor!

2005-02-22T05:53:05Z

I'm very excited! I've finally got a mentor to help me on my druidic path. He sent me my first lesson tonight and I thought I should put the results up on my journal for reference:

MY HEARTH CULTURE

Your first lesson:

A 'Hearth Culture' is a loose description of the linguistic/geographical
culture that inspires the religious working of an individual or their
Grove -- i.e. the Gods of their 'Hearth' or home. It usually determines
the sub-set of Gods that they worship, the origin of most of the stories
told about them and the language used to worship them. It might
influence the kind of music most likely to be played, the style of
clothing commonly worn, the kinds of food frequently served, etc.

Notice the use of the word 'most' and other qualifiers in that
definition.

Ahh, excellent. So 'hearth' is a bit like the 'heart' of one's
worship and/or spiritual community.

So the Hearth Culture of ROG is Welsh. But in practice, Hearth Culture
is not a rigid boundary. (As Captain Barbosa says in 'Pirates of the
Caribbean', "The Code is more like 'Guidelines' than actual rules!") So
we feel it's OK to include an Irish Goddess (Brigit) and a Gaulish God
(Cernunnos) into our 'Hearth' and still call it 'Welsh'.

*nods* that feels right to me.

And for the purposes of the DP you can choose to answer the Hearth
Culture questions using your own HC, ROG's or both.

So your first assignment is to think about your own personal 'pantheon'
of Gods. Who are They? What culture(s) do they come from?

Okay, well my pantheon begins with ancient dreamtime of Australia.
The beings that dwell in my land are like a combination of ancestors
and nature spirits I think. At least, that has been my experience to
date. Then my pantheon extends to my own Welsh and Irish ancestory.
I initiated a communication with Ogma last summer and talked about
magic and language with him. Then, I had a wonderful experience
meeting Rhiannon on a moonlit night before calan gaeaf. Then speaking
to her in person was incredibly powerful and emotional. Experiencing
Math's energy was quite extraordinary too. My relationship with Math
has helped me stay focussed on my magical goals. This year I had my
first encounter with Brigid and it has been nothing short of
miraculous. I have also set up four alters in my room, one to the
east where Sirona resides, Math in the south, Briget in the west and
the green man or pan in the north (I wish I knew the welsh god for
this cheeky, fertile earth energy. I speak with each of these four
every day when I do my grounding and cleansing ritual.

I have also had personal experiences with a couple of the Egyptian
pantheon, most recently Anubis and Nut. Although, they aren't the
heart or hearth of my worship. Sometimes I just experience other
entities in my travels, without necessarily really becoming involved
with them (if that makes sense).

The Cosmic Balance

2005-02-19T01:03:26Z

Two weeks ago, I sent a St. Brigid's cross to my sick step-father in Australia along with the strip of cloth that was blessed by Brigid at our Imbolc ceremony. When I spoke to my mum after posting the cross, she told me that he had suddenly begun to improve in health and no longer seemed to be suffering from the life-threatening pneumonia that had plagued him since last year. This seems completely miraculous. After three and a half months of getting sicker and sicker, he begins to heal. I have no doubts of Brigid's powers now. First my beloved's sickness was cured and now this. Yet, two days ago the most awful news came, that my beloved pusscat back in Australia had suddently died of septicemia. She was only four years old.

While I was driving along the NJ turnpike last night, weeping and gurgling I felt like my baby had been taken from me as payment for helping the health of my beloved and my step-dad. I felt as though the cosmic balance of life and death had to be repaid. It was so sad and so illuminating at the same time. Just as I was thinking this, a truck pulled in front of me with a huge painted tree on the back that said 'Tree of Life' and a song came on the radio with the lyrics about being superstitious and reading the signs. I realized that whilst Brigid had healed, the death goddess takes away. I'm not sure if Sirona is part of this, but perhaps she is if we return to the light when we die. Sirona certainly knows the way there. I wonder whether Rhiannon is involved in this? I feel as though she might be. I sort of smiled through my tears and tried to comprehend the message I was getting. Clearly this is part of life. This terrible, aching sadness is part of life. But, golly it is hard to deal with.

Yoga visuals

2005-02-16T04:42:26Z

Tonight I made an effort to let go of my intruding thoughts for meditation. I lay in supta baddha konasana and I found myself inside an orb of light, containing my whole body and extending a little beyond. It was an iridescent, gaseous sphere. I felt like an ethereal mermaid inside the aurora borealis. Each time a thought would enter my mind I would gently exhale it out of the sphere and the swirling, cleansing spirit would push it ashore like a gentle wave. I found myself much at peace in this way. Then, I moved to supported adho mukha virasana and I experienced an intriguing sense of watching the universe from overhead. This time my thoughts were directed to a ball of flame beneath my body and burnt to create cleansing stillness. It was quite powerful to have these opposing sensations.

The Star and the Laser Beams

2005-02-07T18:18:55Z

MOON PATH
===========

Since meeting Sirona, it's changed my grounding ritual (QC). Normally I stand and feel the earth beneath my feet and then stretch up through the ceiling, into the sky, into space and finally my head arrives at the centre of the universe. From here I receive the divine light and I bring this light down through my body. However, the past two nights I've had very personal experiences with Sirona. First of all she is with me as soon as my head pops out of the top of my house. She swirls about me and gently helps me up towards the ceiling of the earth. Then, when I begin to trave through space she is the great emptiness and the great wonder of the universe. I am travelling through her, within her. It feels so incredible. Two nights ago when I arrived at the centre of the universe she poured the light into my head, like The Star in the major arcana (always my favourite card, morganjaffit will attest to that). Then, last night her eyes glowed like a thousand stars and penetrated my skull like a laser beam. Amazing.

Imbolc with Red Oak Grove

2005-02-06T07:11:59Z

Today druidapprentice and I headed to Red Oak Grove's Imbolc celebrations. We arrived on time and learnt how to make St. Brigid's crosses which was fantastic. Mine looked a little amateurish, but good in that I-made-it-in-kindergarten-stick-it-on-the-fridge way. The ceremony started a couple of hours late due to late-comers, but that was fine. I did a really great medtation and visited Gorias for the first time in a trance-state. The ritual was very beautiful and full of light. The sky was crisp, clean and golden. The snow lay on the ground enhancing the sense of light and hope. The most spectacular part of the ritual was the channelling of Brigid. She was undoubtably present. The woman who was channelling seemed to grow and radiate as soon as she accepted Brigid into her body. Not only was her physical countenance incredible, but her words were profound and telling. I hope that druidapprentice writes up an account of her experience, because there was some real magic going on today. During the offerings, I gave Math and Brigid gifts. They both received some photos of my alter to them. Math also got a sachet of red frankincense and mistletoe, whilst Brigid got one of the apples from my alter. After the ritual we ate a feast of eggs, cheese, bread and other delights. We brought Salmon roe as our contribution, thanks to druidapprentice's ingenuity. It was certainly an experience!

I think this was one of the best rituals I've been to so far in terms of a really magical feeling. I still wish that the script was memorized by the participants, because reading off a booklet reminds me too much of church and the souless, lifeless droning that I experienced as a kid. The other issue today was that a lot of people were in a lot of pain and anxiety. One of the reasons I meditated in the morning was to escape listening to a discussion of "the most awful thing about a funeral". Right now I have a family member who is very sick and I really didn't want to have images of death and depression in my mind. Then after the ceremony there was obvious friction between some of the senior druids present. They all had completely legitimate reasons to be upset, but the energy was certainly grim. I am looking forward to the light returning in the next few weeks.

I am taking my piece of the white cloth that Brigid blessed and keeping it on my water alter. I'm going to package the other piece I took and send it along with the Brigid cross to my step-dad. May he benefit from Brigid's blessings.

Sirona - Goddess of the Sky

2005-02-05T04:27:08Z

Tonight whilst doing my LBRP I had a wonderful awakening in the east. At the moment I invoke Math (welsh god of magic) in the south (fire/wands), Brigid in the west (water/cups), the green man in the north (earth/pentacles) and yet no goddess in the east. I knew that the right diety would enter when the time is right and tonight must have been good! Anyway, I was gazing out when I vibrated raphael's name and behind him I saw the sky goddess swirling into the night. She was alight with stars and spiraled in gusts of air. She was the air, she was the ethereal ceiling of our earth. I was entranced. I can still see her now smiling gently at me, like a sky mermaid. I am so moved. I love her. When I communed with this goddess, I knew that I must paint a scene of clouds in the sky for her. Only afterwards did I realize that I generally keep my ogams on my mantle piece (where my air alter is) and of course I am planning to write this book on cloud ogam! Isn't that crazy? I wander what her name is? At the moment I saw her I knew it was Nut. But, that's my experience in Egyptian mythology showing. I must look up 'Celtic sky goddess', if they have a name for her. I realize now that she is the goddess of the sky, the wind, the air and the stars. She's an angel.

Update: I found her! Sirona was the Celtic Sky Goddess, also known as Sige (Babylonian) Juno (Roman), Hera (Greek), Lumo (Tibetan) and Surupa (Hindu). Her name means 'star' and she was a goddess of healing, fertility and astronomy. Mmmmm.

Sephiroth Correspondences with Ogam.

2005-02-03T22:38:38Z

SPIRAL THREE - DIVINATION
=========================

I've been a busy little lj bee in the last 24-hours. Today in my epistemology class when the material started to head off-topic I decided to compare the ogam with the ten sephirah and assigned two stones to each and got:

1. Kether - birth, beginnings (beth) and enlightenment (cull)
2. Chokmah - spiritedness, energy (eadha) and drive (gort)
3. Binah - obstacles (huath), form and completeness (quert)
4. Chesed - protection (luis) and karma (rue)
5. Geburah - Wounding (straiff) and clearing out, cleansing and purifying (ngetal)
6. Tiphareth - Guidance (fearn) and love (heather)
7. Netzach - Sexuality (onn) and natural forces (muin)
8. Hod - magical transformation (nion) and mental learning (tinne)
9. Yesod - Intuition (saille) and higher consciousness (ailm)
10. Malkuth - duration, solidity (duir) and transition (iodha)

The fun thing about this is how well they all fit! I especially like sephirah's like binah to get two meanings because there really is the darker feminine energy of form and restriction versus the wonder of completeness when you have the divine energy becoming shaped.

Imbolc

2005-02-03T17:49:17Z

There is no 'Spiral Eight - Shaman Path' in the AODA curriculum, so I decided to invent it. I think this is an important subsection of the celtic magical system. My work in this path comes from following Steve Blamire's exercises in The Irish Celtic Magical Tradition

SPIRAL EIGHT - SHAMAN PATH
===========================

At 12.28, as Imbolc occurred, I took a moment at my desk to close my eyes and again visit the mystical city of Falias. It was very easy for me to relax in the lush meadows. I was wearing a flowing white dress and I skipped across to the stream, joyous in my astral body. I noticed this time that along the streambed to the right was a small waterfall which was very pretty. I headed out across the streambed and into the mossier grasses of Falias. The air was again crisp and there were apple trees thriving here. I saw ahead to the city and yet my eye caught a glimpse of something amongst the trees to my left. It was a great white horse. With joy I approached him and asked his name. He said was 'Edvark' and lowered his head for me to patt him. His fur was incredibly soft and luxurious. He was as radiant as a unicorn, though there was no horn on his head. He wanted to know what brought me to Falias and I replied that it was Imbolc and I wanted to gain a better understanding of the holiday. He seemed agreeable to this and invited me to sit upon his back. Then we rode off towards the city gates. Yet, instead of going into the city, we continued around the perimeter until we came to a huge sheep pasture. Edvark and I discussed the concept of ewes beginning lactation and how this time of year was full of expectation and hope for new life. Almost like the edge of wonderous new things. I asked Edvark how the horses feel at this time of year (the sheep didn't seem much interested in talking) and he replied that it is also a very difficult time, and one of death. Because the cold has been going for a long time and there is not much food to eat. So, on the one hand there is hope for the new life of spring, but there is anxiety about surviving to see it. Thus, the horses who are sensible are very careful with their pasture lands and don't take more than they need. I thought about this and applied it to my own life. Or at least to human life. I realized that although restricting food or something I loved was a good idea (hence the traditions of lent), there was more meaning behind doing this than discipline. It was about conserving resources. The main resource of humans is money, so the next six weeks should be a time of careful spending and thriftyness. Then, when the weather warms up, you can enjoy losening the purse strings without guilt. This all made sense to me and I thanked Edvark for his time. I slowly let the world of Falias slip away and woke up.

Analysis of my Ogam Interpretations

2005-02-03T05:46:26Z

SPIRAL THREE - DIVINATION

I have done 26 daily ogham readings and I am cataloging the results of my meditations on them. I have all 20 major symbols memorized now and I am beginning to sense their complexity in meaning. I have been using a version of the 'Three Weavers Spread' suggested in Paul Rhys Mountfort's Ogam book (I highly recommend this). It is a basic four stone spread: past, present, future and overall theme. I do not use the technique of 'reversed meanings' in my divination. I prefer to look at positive and negative implications in each reading to get a balance.

- Beth, birch, birth, b, kether
Appearence = 5
Meanings = I initially thought 'kether energies' with this ogam. In my reading it was in the 'future' and cojoined with quert (completeness) as the overall theme indicated new growth in my life. Like a tree putting out a new branch. In the reading straif (wounding) was in the 'present' position, which indcated how pain and difficulty can precede birth. In my situation it was physical pain that I was trying to heal through yogic practise, which is why it wasn't contradictory to my more spiritual interpretation of quert. I've decided that each ogam has at least three levels of significance: spiritual, mental and physical. This analysis links up with the mystical places: Falias, Gorias and Findias/Murias discussed in Steve Blamires The Irish Magical Tradition (also highly recommended). Anyway, it was interesting that during the reading it was clear to me that my physical wounds from straif were part of a spiritual beginning indicated by the combination of beth and quert. Understanding the subtle interplay of these levels in each reading will certainly increase the significance of my divinations.

Subsequent Meanings = Signified the beginning of my not drinking (Brigid advised this at Imbolc to last until the equinox), also arrived when I first met Sirona and then heralded new friends in Quebec. Finally beth appeared the day after my pusscat died and Morgs got his first tattoo. Something is brewing, although I'm not sure what yet.

- Luis,rowan, protection, l, chesed
Appearence = 3
Meaning = Luis appeared in a freakishly well timed and auspicious reading after a grueling weak standing up for social change in my workplace. Surrounded by ailm (elation, great realizations), eadha (spiritednes, resolutions, conquest of fear) and ur (lovers) this was a great reading. My explanation of luis in this instance was simply 'YAY'. Followed by a 'fucking yeah' in my notebook. Luis seemed to bind all these other positive stones into a synthesis of being looked after from my beloved (ur) and above. In fact, it reminds me of that wonderful story Footprints about jesus carrying a man through the most difficult times in his life. Indeed, luis is like the 'lord' in this story.

Subsequent Meanings = Luis protected me from getting ripped off by my mechanic, which is no small feat! Then getting luis a third time indicated 'sanctuary' from psychic attack. Luis can help engender the peaceful, forgiving, compassionate and peaceful tree energies that are necessary to deal with negative energy. I was filled with negative energy and it was such a struggle to dissapate it. Bad energy just feeds on itself to become bigger and more destructive. Yet, vengefulness and righteous pride is somehow seductive. Wanting to feel superior to another person is something I didn't really admit within myself and now I think I am beginning to understand my own dark side more. Luis is also the first one I really connected with when I found a walnut branch in its shape. I suspect I'll get a tattoo if not a pendant of this ogam soon.

- Fearn, Alder, guidance, f, tipareth
Appearences = 8
Meaning = Initially I thought that fearn indicated tiphareth energies. It appeared in my first reading in the 'future' position. It brought me strength that I was on the right path and I was being helped by some higher guide. It made me feel as though I had good counsel close to hand, but also that I would have sufficient awareness to continue to chose the right path, over the easier choices. In the second reading, fearn was in the 'past' position and I interpreted it as my housemate's act of giving me a huge stack of wonderful magic books she no longer needs or uses. It was an incredibly generous gift which included such classics as 'Drawing Down the Moon' and the Blamires book mentioned above. So, this ogam has interestingly different possibilities, including a holy guardian angel effect as well as the provision of catalysts to further knowledge on the physical realm. Again, I can see the application of the split between spiritual, mental and physical depending on the reading.

Subsequent Meanings = Fearn has indicated guidance from a god (Math) and a goddess (Brigid). It has also manifested in the physical plane with books to improve my way upon the path and from new friends with magical wisdom. I have also got help from my dad on intellectual matters and more interestingly from omens and portents upon my travels.

- Saille Willow intuition, s, yesod
Appearences = 5
Meaning = Initially I thought that saile indicated yesod energies. In my first reading it was more intellectual than yesod is typically considered. Saille was placed in the 'past' position after my auspicious reading mention above (see 'luis'). Thus, I interpreted it as indicating my success at seeing the right moves in a difficult situation. It was similiar to the intuitions you get when you're good at chess (e.g. pattern recognition, knowing bad moves, without necessarily being able to explicate why). I think it's great to explore the mental level of saille, because I'm sure 'intuition' mostly gets understood in a more emotional way. The second time I got saille it was in the 'present' position and was connected with eadha (spiritedness) and the spiritual realm. I had experienced a revelation that evening with the QC (qabbalistic cross). Instead of each arm of the cross being finite, I experienced them as infinite and looping back on themselves. If you imagine me glued to the outside of an apple (representing the universe), then the arto-malkuth light encircled the apple vertically, where as the vegeburah-vegedulah light encircled the apple horizontally. Thus, I felt seatbelted into the entire universe. This happens to me every time now. Anyway, it was a good night for spiritual intuition and a great indication of saille.

Subsequent Meanings = I next drew saille after the Red Oak Grove Imbolc celebrations. It made perfect sense that I got a special symbol from my shamanic trance and that I was feeling very introverted and inward looking. It also connected with my dreams as well. Saille also helped me intuit a sick animal, when one of our pusskas was unhappy.

- Nion, Ash, Transformation, n, hod
Appearence = 1
Meaning = I had nion in my second reading in the 'past' position. It represented the manifestation of my true Will and that the current conflict of my life was going to bring the correct results. It also showed how I was indeed part of a mini-revolution in my workplace. This is the true meaning of using a wand to direct your will. It is the action of hod, rather than the reaction of netzach. But, directing energies brings karmic return, so I was also in full awareness that I was soon to experience repercussions of my actions.

Subsequent Meanings = Nion was drawn when I engaged in some honest criticism of a friend and although it might have been tough for her to hear, I think she will benefit from it and so will the grove. Again, change from action, not inaction.

- Huath, Hawthorne, obstacles, h, binah
Appearence = 3
Meaning = Initially I saw hawthorne as beginning a difficult journey. Certainly in my third reading it was the most exhausting night I've had in all the readings. I barely had energy to do the casting, let alone engage in a complex explication. In my notebook I wrote: "so so exhausted can't even think" and I suspect obstacles can be like that. This was a triple effect, I was mentally, physically and spiritually drained, although I still felt as though the right actions had been taken.

Subsequent Meanings = Huath indicated the joy of each moment with simple pleasures like playing a board game with my beloved. The obstacle 'abstinence' was no obstacle in living. So focussing scattered energies is a peaceful thing to do, the opposite of explosion (aha!) Then huath gave me focus to do my taxes and other tasks when I was tired and stressed.

- Duir, Oak, Duration, d, malkuth
Appearence = 5
Meaning = Intially I saw duir as sticking to your resolve. In my reading it indicated that I was at the peak of my powers, that I had established strength and maturity, even though I was ascending a knotty rung in the ladder of life. These were testing times when I drew duir. Yet I felt the power of being a doorway for others, a sheltering and protective force for those unable to speak out against injustice. So, this was a bit of a warrier card too.

Subsequent Meanings = Duir has indicated a lot of personal growth stuff for me, it combined with idho (yew) convinced me that I should give up drinking for six weeks. It shows my maturing, emotional grounding and gathering strength. Be like the oak, firmly rooted, secure in my own nature, branching out in fruitful directions. Duir was also a language learning letter, because I need to learn french to open a doorway to a different way to understand the world I'm in and the people I meet.

- Tinne, Holly, Challenge, t, hod
Appearence = 3
Meaning = Initially I saw holly as the final difficulties of a journey, yet it was the 'overall theme' stone of my first reading. Tinne represents the difficulties of juggling different challenges (including learning ogam and managing my life.)

Subsequent Meanings = Tinne indicated my inability to concentrate on my work and falling asleep in my office. This graduate degree is hard work, it's hard intellectually but super hard psychologically. The third time I got tinne it was the same story, real troubles concentrating, sleepiness, struggling with topics I found uninteresting, but there was also some work done, so challenges can be rewarding, grad school is just a big challenge!

- Coll, Hazel, enlightenment, c, kether
Appearence = 4
Meaning = The first time I got coll was after my incredible plane flight to Montreal with my cloud guidebook in one hand and my history of clouds in the other. I had this calm, joyous energy the whole time, just like an earnest child lost in the miracle of existience. It was sublime. I identified clouds and weather patterns and predicted the weather and felt like I was transversing the heavens. What a thrill! Coll also indicates wisdom and knowledge. I think I benefitted from talking to my dad about my philosophy, he definately helps to put ideas into perspective.

- Quert, Apple, Wholeness, q, binah
Appearences = 4
Meaning = Well, I just love quert. My wand is made from an apple branch and I love its symbology. In my readings quert has indicated brigid, recovery, shelter, protection, sustainence, life, heart, health, vitality of spirit, deep connection with the universe, healing, regeneration and strong vital energy.

Subsequent Meanings = I got quert on Imbolc, so no surprises there with my apple associations. Then quert appeared on the day I ate yum cha and then commensal (both incredibly decadent and delicious) on valentine's day. Definately a sustaining, wholesome feeling.

- Muin, Vine, Harvest, m, netzach
Appearences = 9
Meaning = Muin was in my first reading in the 'past'. I attributed it to the end of the difficult journey last year when my baby lost his job and then we were sick and everything was a tough slog. I very much felt the moment of enjoying the harvest of our labours (particularly his). His new job is fantastic and we have every reason to celebrate. The second appearence of muin was when I was having difficulties focussing on my academic work. Thus, it was more aligned with the negative aspect of muin, that of excess. I do have a tendency to drink alcohol to escape from responsibilities I face. I must learn more patience and the detachment necessary to preserve my sanity without resorting to unhealthy methods. The third appearence of muin was last night. Again, it related to the overindulgence in my life rather than the deserved celebration. I have decided to give up alcohol for lent (I'm not sure what the pagan name or equivalent is). There are six weeks until the spring equinox and it's a good time to knuckle down.

Subsequent Meanings = Muin lept into my life when I began partying with Morgs in Montreal, got it four times over the holiday and it definately representing our lavish and joyful time together. It also came when Oddie died, so representing nature's horrific side as well as her bountiful nature. The last time muin appeared, it indicated the excess that I tend towards, thus I am now keeping a budget of every dollar I spend.

- Gort, Ivy, tenacity, g, chokmah
Appearence = 4
Meaning = Ivy is a parasite that preys on its host and grows furiously! When I first got gort it indicated my focus on my own needs and interests rather than the concerns of others (working hard). Ivy gets between the cracks and is bloody-minded. Definately a getting-shit-done letter. Male power and energy here.

- nGetal, Broom, cleansing, geburah
Appearences = 3
Meaning = This was the 'present' in my first reading. I certainly saw my beginning in ogam related to a thorough cleansing of my spiritual, mental and physical health. The second time ngetal appeared was when I was extraordinarily exhausted (see the description for hawthorn). The best way for me to understand this sense of ngetal is that sometimes cleaning is painful, like when a wound must be disinfected and it hurts. Thus, the path to improvement can be unpleasant, but it strengthens against future woes.

Subsequent Meanings = nGetal was the 'past' letter when Oddie died, I don't know what it means right now, it's part of the sadness I guess.

- Straif, Blackthorn, wounding, ss, geburah
Appearences = 9
Meaning = A whole lot of pain! I've conistently chosen this ogam over the last couple of weeks. Four out of nine readings! I've either been exhausted and drained mentally and psychologically, or I've had physical effects such as aching knees and shoulders or a hangover. However, depending on how straiff interacts with other ogams, the meaning can be more interesting. E.g. when paired with quert, it indicated the mystery of self-conquest and trancendence. It is also an ogam representing the sword or surgeon's knife, which combined with ngetal can help to cleanse and repair even though the body experiences it as a 'wound' and reacts appropriately. So, there is the triumph of the spirit over the body within this stone. I actually don't mind getting it and it has certainly been accurate about my life recently.

Subsequent Meanings = Straif continues to appear 1/3 of my readings. I live a very analytic life and I have definately sliced into tricky problems with this letter intellectually. The difficulties of learning a language were also represented in this letter. The worst day was when my kitty died and straif was the letter that summed up all the emotional pain of that event.

- Rue, Elder, Rue, r, chesed
Appearences = 8
Meaning = Rue is certainly a stone of karmic return. It has helped me not to dwell in vengeful thoughts, but to let the higher powers deal with any mistreatments I experience. This also helps to clear my conscience a little because I have felt that my actions were ultimately done for the right motivations etc..., so I did not fear the result. Rue was also a stone of getting my life back into balance and reconcilliation after a fight. I find it amazing how emotional events can be and yet how time really can heal if we are only receptive enough to it and admit wrongdoing.

Subsequent Meanings = Rewards from moderation, abstinence and being conservative with limited resources. Steps backwards from overdoing things, partying too hard, taking too much time away from my goals and daily work needs. Material compensation from following my heart (lj writing and getting offered money for travel journalism).

- Ailm, Pine or Fir, elation, a, yesod
Appearences = 5
Meaning = Joy and rapture I felt when I picked this stone. That's all I can remember, but it felt great! Everything was fitting into the right places and I was 'king of the world'. (I was also hallucinating from absinth, :)

Subsequent Meanings = The quiet elation of doing concentrated spiritual work and experiencing the gnosis that comes from it. Seeing the long-term, far-reaching consequences of a strategy, view from above, objective opinion, removed from a situation, freedom, enjoying the moment, living in the present.

- Onn, Gorse, sexuality, netzach
Appearences = 6
Meaning = Well, this stone certainly relates to my extraordinary sexual drive right now. But, I do think it's a little more significant than that. :) The first time I got onn I was thinking about Valentine's Day. The second time I was feeling confident about my body and it's natural expression. I had just got a haircut and new clothes and I definately had a healthy rapport with my body. I was full of grace and erotic charge. The sort of confidence I used to exude in nightclubs when I was 21. It feels good to feel that confident again. I had also just bought a plane ticket to see my baby for Valentine's Day.

Subsequent Meanings = My beloved calls me spunky, I'm thirsty for life, but the excitment can be overwhelming. Indicates a shift in birth control, fertility.

- Ur, Heather, lovers, u, tipareth
Appearences = 3
Meaning = I think this stone is certainly about the wondrous true love I have right now and certainly my contentment with my path. I am extremely lucky to be loved like I am. I also think that this stone links up with my desires for a family. I am looking forward to having children in a couple of years and it is going to be such an incredible journey. Definately something I've had on my mind recently.

Subsequent Meanings = I got this on the morning after my first night with my baby when we had the most incredible conversation and made beautiful love and everything was incredibly romantic and fabulous.

- Eadha, Aspen, spiritedness,e, chokmah
Appearences = 10
Meaning = Initially eadha indicated my emotional and passionate activities in the face of fear. Then eadha was also a triumphant stone cojoined with ailm, luis and heather, evoking emotions like those felt by the main characters of star wars when they defeated the dark side. The third appearence of eadha was when my visualizations were getting better during meditations. Thus, the spiritual side of this stone is strong when combined with saille. The forth appearence of eadha was when I had a great night down at the pub and I was feeling incredibly charged. I was able to speak fluently about a range of topics and I was calm, yet energized. It is clearly a very active stone. One I would recommend for someone feeling sluggish in their endeavours.

Subsequent Meanings = Grad. Student warrior! :) Conquering our sex life through assertive sexual acts, rather than quivering with silly fear. I also felt like a poplar (aspen) when I was doing my QC, shaking and shivering up into the night. Bravery to face frigid temperatures when I had to run home.

- Yew, transition, i, malkuth
Appearence = 3
Meaning = Marking the end of one period (drinking, spending too much) and beginning of the new (abstinence, keeping a budget). Mark of change in the seasons (Imbolc). Symbol of death (when my pusscat died).